Infection

Hello again everybody.


I know its been a long, long time since I last touched the keyboard to begin a blog.  The fact I was so optimistic in even naming it JamesClark365 makes me laugh now, but I still like the idea, its a shame life gets in the way sometimes... and pure laziness other times.


There is actually a blog that I wrote just a month ago, which unfortunately never made it to this world wide web as I wrote it on the ferry from the Thai island of Koh Tao, to Chumporn, however as I reached Bangkok realised some one had 'lifted' my Blackberry.  Annoying but not the end of the world, I don't re-read these blogs when I post them anyways, I was obviously more bothered about the pictures of my trip.


A lot has happened since the last time I was here, and again is too much of a mammoth task to even think of all of the major events since then, never mind start to write them down.


If you haven't realised already (or heard), I have left Thailand and I am now back in England. 

Koh Tao - My haven

It is a very strange feeling to be back, and I'm not enjoying that feeling overall.  Don't get me wrong I love where I am from, I love the English heritage, I do not take it for granted one iota. Any time I return to the motherland, I am excited that I will see my close friends and family.  They really mean so much to me, and as much as I adore meeting new people and visiting new places, its a great feeling to know that if one day everything went tits up then there is a place and people who will take you in and help out for a wee while.  Which I guess is kind of what has happened in this situation, although its not quite the end of the world.


After 4 months in Thailand, it unfortunately had to come to an abrupt end after getting a couple of nasty mosquito bites which just so happened to spread like Lurpak around the bottom half of my legs/feet which in turn lowered immune systems and I managed to contract some kind of bug in the stomach.  Needless to say, unable to dive, unable to work.  I did really well there didn't I.  Just my luck, it really was.  It was not something that I wanted to do as I was having the time of my life (apart from not diving) and really found something that I always wanted.  The paradise place I wanted for so many years and still want for more years in places like Koh Tao.  Now I have had a piece of the good life I want to go back and make it my life.


I had subsequently come back to England in good spirits with get-well quick and big-money-no-time ideas thinking that it will just be 2 or 3 months of work before I can save enough money and get back out and into the world and really be happy and do the job I love again.  Only to come back, and really drop back down to Earth and realise that this place is expensive, jobs are hard to go by these days and I need a place to stay/work when I do finally get the flight ticket.  

มุมมองเป็นทุกอย่าง  

Just before I left Thailand, I was sent in the direction of a friend of a friend in Bangkok for a tattoo, as I wanted to mark my time there with something permanent just in case I never get the chance to return.  The tattoo is a translation of a phrase I picked up somewhere along the way.  In English, it reads, 'Perspective is Everything', in Thai it reads something a little different but similar (yes I have checked).  The reason behind it is really to remind me that everything in life, good or bad, really depends on you see the situation, if you change scope sometimes you can see life from other angles and what you may deem to be negative could actually be a positive in the long run.  Yes, if you have guessed the main reason behind this was the same reason as the early blogs, to help through the breakup, and now the tattoo you could call the plaster to cover the scar.  It is still there and hurts sometimes, but does not run the risk of infecting any other parts of my life.


So, I am in England.  Day-to-day I am happy and enjoying the time with friends and family, but in the long term still quite unsure what will happen.  At some point I need to make a plan in regards to my next adventure so I can work towards that goal, rather than needlessly spend time and money on crap.  I hate that about England, is that my attitude changes.  When I am away I am so grateful, and just generally so happy with myself to be wherever I am, learning the new cultures - doing what I love - it seems that whenever I come back I take things for granted. I see a beautiful girl in the street in Thailand and I more than likely go over and say something, the same could happen here with the exact same girl and I would hardly acknowledge her.  This place makes me feel numb, things don't mean as much to me here, and I hate that fact because when I feel numb, I also feel like I am wasting life.


Now we are in late July, just under half of the year to go, I am sticking with previous statements that this year has officially been the worst year going so far - for me.  So many things have gone wrong, or not gone to plan, and to be completely honest I am not sure of the reasons why in most cases, which leaves me to ask the same bloody question everytime, 'Why do bad things happen to good people?'.


I have always believed in Karma, and that old saying of 'What comes around goes around', which if your not familiar with means if you do something good for someone, someone will do the same for you etc. Whilst on the topic of Karma, one of the people who commented on a couple of my posts mentioned karma which I didn't really fully understand.  This ones from a person called 'Dumbass' who left the comment 'Dude, you are a whiney little bitch. No wonder she found other guys. Get over yourself and man the fuck up! Isn't karma a bitch?' I never did understand how the last part regarding karma was really a question aimed at myself, and if it was, then where the context had come from considering the situation at the time, and 'Dumbass', if you don't understand some of the long words used... Ask mummy, she should know...

Where next?

Anyways, so that's about it for now folks, the road I am on seems to fork every now and then but I know eventually I will get back on the right track, and I can look back and realise I needed to go through some life lessons before reaching my nirvana.  


I am really not sure how many times I will post a new blog before the year is through but there is a long time until then and would like to think that now I am in England and currently un-employed as it stands that I would have an hour a day to do this.

Until the next time...

JC