Things To Come

Today, I have decided to blog, despite not having a real subject of discussion.


I do however, enjoy writing these from time to time, more so when I have some inspiration or something on my mind in which I can just write and write and write and feel a little better at the end of it.  So apologies early doors if today's post isn't as gossipy as it would normally be.


This is more of an update of a couple topics.  First of all is my employment situation, as I am currently unemployed and looking for work.  Yesterday was the second time I had gone to a Job Centre regarding my own employment status and if I am being honest I was surprised on a couple of levels. First of all I was actually shocked by the number of people there, the room can't have been any bigger than that of a dental surgeries waiting room with a rough guesstimate of 20-30 people waiting around to be seen.  The second thing that surprised me was age range of people out of jobs and waiting around to be seen by a bunch of people who regulate who gets paid and who doesn't. Again, I am very honest and whilst I have been away I have obviously seen the news about the recession, and unemployment numbers being at their highest peak since the 80's downfall.  My honest opinion was that a percentage of the people were happier to claim the dole aka 'rock'n'roll', which follows the basic principle of a young rock'n'roller like Keith Richards, Ringo Starr etc., living a similar life in that money goes on nights out, alcohol, drugs along with spending little to no time actually looking for work.  I guess it is a similar lifestyle, just the 'amounts' of money spent will be a little less than that of Richards, Star etc.


As I say that was essentially in the back of my mind that the recession in England is not as bad as it seems, which was almost immediately confirmed when I had gotten and interview with the first call I made and given a job straight off the back of that, baring in mind it was a menial job to sell gas and electric to people whilst they are watching Corrie or having their dinner. I was hardly thrilled at the prospect, but it was a job.  The reason I'm talking past tense is because after taking 2 days sick leave, which was reported by the way, they pulled me into the office on the next Monday morning to tell me they have reported an unauthorised absence in the first week of training in which they are un-willing to resume.  As quick as it was to start the job, it was just as quick for them to release me of my duties.  Great.


Since the recent 'sacking', I have called/emailed/asked around regarding many job opportunities, or 'lack of' job opportunities I should rephrase, all of which have availed with no leads and definitely no offers.  After seeing and speaking with some of the people at the job centre, my pre-conceived views about what people were doing with themselves has definitely changed scope as there are people from all ages, you have all ages in there, school leavers right up to old age pensioners who are doing everything for A job, never mind a job of choice.  


As a bit of self-proclaimed hippy, I have a bit of beef with most of the governments in the world and don't believe a word of their election campaigns.  You see their slogans and campaigners walking around with posters of 'Hope' and 'Vote for us, change is coming'.  However, in reality, there are ALWAYS going to be fat cats in suits running countries, and stuffing percentages of tax payers money into back pockets, so they can have a second house, or that extra week off sipping the finest of champers in St. Tropez. I remember watching on the News a while back about just one person and his bonuses,  the reason I remember the episode is because just one big wig in a suit gained more bonuses in one year which could have effectively paid off every penny of student loans in the country.  Without beginning a huge debate about the UK government, tax money and where it really goes, I'll leave that subject with a short and simple message 'Don't believe everything you hear in the media' - in the end, they are controlled by the government itself.


So after my first trip to the old Job Centre, I was told I need to 'sign-on' the next day, which was today.  I am not quite a virgin when it comes to the Job Centre but I am definitely no professional and had to ask what I am supposed to do when I 'sign on'.  The woman laughed actually and said, 'ahhh I've not heard anyone ask that for a while', it confused me, if anything I thought it would be on their list of FAQ's, they must not get a lot of newbies like me coming in.  Anyways, after a 25 minute 'interview', where I sat down next to a guy called Paul who looked like a chubby Francis Rossi (if you don't know who he is, ask your parents or do a quick Google search), which made me laugh at first.  I don't remember the name of the interview, a Habitual Residency Test or something, it wasn't important, the Rossi look-a-like wanted to know where I have been, how long I have been away, if I was involved in a volcanic eruption in 1994 and a bunch of other questions which I would have thought my British passport alone would have answered questions to.  Apparently not, they just wanted to check if I am eligible for Job Seekers Allowance as only UK residents are eligible.  Last time I checked I was still English.


Turns out, Yes, I am still a UK resident and eligible to live and reside in England.  Which was always obvious, however, I do not take this for granted at all, as I now realise after travelling some of the world that other nationalities have it so much worse than the Great British folk.  So now I am cleared and officially allowed to reside in my home country, it just really re-iterated the fact that I do not want to be here long term by any means and need to get back on the wagon and see where I end up.  The desire of travelling, meeting new people, diving in new locations, learning new languages and cultures for me, is exactly what I am looking for at the moment, maybe my time to reside and relax in England are behind me, or who knows, maybe they are yet to come.


At the moment in a bleak, bleak time of British history during the recession, I am just hoping that the little adventurous bug that I've got right now will last long enough until I have enough money to relieve myself from this place to the next.


There's a saying people say to me 'Ahh its okay. We can always dream.', but I find that term so depressing and feel sad for people that say that to me.  My dream is achievable and I'm not a million miles away from getting there, living my dream.  I just have to go out there and  make it happen, one way or the other. I believe if something is possible and it is your dream, it always will be if you think of it as a dream.  Go out and make it happen, it won't just turn up at your door.


JC

Infection

Hello again everybody.


I know its been a long, long time since I last touched the keyboard to begin a blog.  The fact I was so optimistic in even naming it JamesClark365 makes me laugh now, but I still like the idea, its a shame life gets in the way sometimes... and pure laziness other times.


There is actually a blog that I wrote just a month ago, which unfortunately never made it to this world wide web as I wrote it on the ferry from the Thai island of Koh Tao, to Chumporn, however as I reached Bangkok realised some one had 'lifted' my Blackberry.  Annoying but not the end of the world, I don't re-read these blogs when I post them anyways, I was obviously more bothered about the pictures of my trip.


A lot has happened since the last time I was here, and again is too much of a mammoth task to even think of all of the major events since then, never mind start to write them down.


If you haven't realised already (or heard), I have left Thailand and I am now back in England. 

Koh Tao - My haven

It is a very strange feeling to be back, and I'm not enjoying that feeling overall.  Don't get me wrong I love where I am from, I love the English heritage, I do not take it for granted one iota. Any time I return to the motherland, I am excited that I will see my close friends and family.  They really mean so much to me, and as much as I adore meeting new people and visiting new places, its a great feeling to know that if one day everything went tits up then there is a place and people who will take you in and help out for a wee while.  Which I guess is kind of what has happened in this situation, although its not quite the end of the world.


After 4 months in Thailand, it unfortunately had to come to an abrupt end after getting a couple of nasty mosquito bites which just so happened to spread like Lurpak around the bottom half of my legs/feet which in turn lowered immune systems and I managed to contract some kind of bug in the stomach.  Needless to say, unable to dive, unable to work.  I did really well there didn't I.  Just my luck, it really was.  It was not something that I wanted to do as I was having the time of my life (apart from not diving) and really found something that I always wanted.  The paradise place I wanted for so many years and still want for more years in places like Koh Tao.  Now I have had a piece of the good life I want to go back and make it my life.


I had subsequently come back to England in good spirits with get-well quick and big-money-no-time ideas thinking that it will just be 2 or 3 months of work before I can save enough money and get back out and into the world and really be happy and do the job I love again.  Only to come back, and really drop back down to Earth and realise that this place is expensive, jobs are hard to go by these days and I need a place to stay/work when I do finally get the flight ticket.  

มุมมองเป็นทุกอย่าง  

Just before I left Thailand, I was sent in the direction of a friend of a friend in Bangkok for a tattoo, as I wanted to mark my time there with something permanent just in case I never get the chance to return.  The tattoo is a translation of a phrase I picked up somewhere along the way.  In English, it reads, 'Perspective is Everything', in Thai it reads something a little different but similar (yes I have checked).  The reason behind it is really to remind me that everything in life, good or bad, really depends on you see the situation, if you change scope sometimes you can see life from other angles and what you may deem to be negative could actually be a positive in the long run.  Yes, if you have guessed the main reason behind this was the same reason as the early blogs, to help through the breakup, and now the tattoo you could call the plaster to cover the scar.  It is still there and hurts sometimes, but does not run the risk of infecting any other parts of my life.


So, I am in England.  Day-to-day I am happy and enjoying the time with friends and family, but in the long term still quite unsure what will happen.  At some point I need to make a plan in regards to my next adventure so I can work towards that goal, rather than needlessly spend time and money on crap.  I hate that about England, is that my attitude changes.  When I am away I am so grateful, and just generally so happy with myself to be wherever I am, learning the new cultures - doing what I love - it seems that whenever I come back I take things for granted. I see a beautiful girl in the street in Thailand and I more than likely go over and say something, the same could happen here with the exact same girl and I would hardly acknowledge her.  This place makes me feel numb, things don't mean as much to me here, and I hate that fact because when I feel numb, I also feel like I am wasting life.


Now we are in late July, just under half of the year to go, I am sticking with previous statements that this year has officially been the worst year going so far - for me.  So many things have gone wrong, or not gone to plan, and to be completely honest I am not sure of the reasons why in most cases, which leaves me to ask the same bloody question everytime, 'Why do bad things happen to good people?'.


I have always believed in Karma, and that old saying of 'What comes around goes around', which if your not familiar with means if you do something good for someone, someone will do the same for you etc. Whilst on the topic of Karma, one of the people who commented on a couple of my posts mentioned karma which I didn't really fully understand.  This ones from a person called 'Dumbass' who left the comment 'Dude, you are a whiney little bitch. No wonder she found other guys. Get over yourself and man the fuck up! Isn't karma a bitch?' I never did understand how the last part regarding karma was really a question aimed at myself, and if it was, then where the context had come from considering the situation at the time, and 'Dumbass', if you don't understand some of the long words used... Ask mummy, she should know...

Where next?

Anyways, so that's about it for now folks, the road I am on seems to fork every now and then but I know eventually I will get back on the right track, and I can look back and realise I needed to go through some life lessons before reaching my nirvana.  


I am really not sure how many times I will post a new blog before the year is through but there is a long time until then and would like to think that now I am in England and currently un-employed as it stands that I would have an hour a day to do this.

Until the next time...

JC

Catch Up

I'm not sure that I can still type at this point, I have, as I thought completely neglected my blog and Facebook accounts to a certain degree, but I'm not complaining because I have done so with the best intentions and have some of the best experiences of my life here in Thailand.  It was almost 3 weeks ago since I last blogged, when I was in Bangkok and thinking back at that point my mind was in a transitional period, and only now that I have the chance to relax, slow down, gather some thoughts is that I can start to piece the 3 week party together to complete the journey so far.


I'm going to start the blog today by tracking back to Bangkok and explaining what has happened, where me and Gaz went, who we met, what we've seen and where we are now.

Still in BKK with a friend of mine.

As far as I can remember the last blog was on one of my last nights in Bangkok, where we had managed to escape the bed in a box room that we we're staying in, and upgraded to 7 quid a night for a night which was lush!!  It had air-con (which is a big bonus for a room in Thailand), T.V and a bed big enough for me to sleep without having my knees downwards falling off the end of the bed.  I swear they make beds for midgets in this country.  So after a nice pampered night and a hot shower (again, something which is not very common in Thailand), we made our move to our next step, Phuket.  At the time, I was sad to be leaving Bangkok as I had an awesome time there but now in hindsight, I'm glad we left when we did because it was one of the places that started to bleed my wallet dry and regretting it now (well, not really, the memories are priceless, just wish had some more money).


So Bangkok was done and we had the choice to either jump on a coach, train or plane to Phuket and in true backpacker style we went for the cheapest option - the bus.  If I ever had to do that trip again, I would pay twice as much and fly.  The bus is horrible.  You jump on it at around 6pm, after carting your stuff around BKK city for an hour - which made me laugh because everyone was sweating their tits off and moaning about it, but I was just happy to be in BKK and experiencing it and laughing because no matter where you are in the world, people always moan about something!  Anyways the journey from Bangkok to Phuket is a royal pain in the ass, the companies sell it to you as a VIP coach with air con, movies, relax-a-chairs and what you really get is half the size of a coffin to sit in, warm air blowing around the coach and a movie which is 10 seats in front of you.  What we didn't anticipate is the fact that we would travel all night long from 6pm until around 7am and then have to jump on another bus which is exactly the same, pay for it again and sit on that bus from 8am until around 4pm.  It sounds much better to be there in an hour and pay twice as much to fly than do that again.

My room in Phuket

We arrived in Phuket and me and Gaz we're both tired, sweaty and frustrated by the heat and now had to bust around Patong Beach looking for a months accommodation for a cheap price - something I did NOT want to be doing after 24hours travelling.  Gaz had had an idea that we shouldnt be paying anymore than around 4000bht a month - around 80 quid - an idea which for me was proven to be completely wrong - for Phuket at least - the first place I asked wanted 18000bht a month, the second 19k etc.  After a couple of hours of nothing, Gaz had contacted his close Thai girl friend who was insistent that she herself had stayed in Patong for 4k just a couple of months prior to our visit.  What she didn't take in to account was the she is Thai national and we are 'Farang' in basic translation means foreigner and therefor the price doubles.  She did however, have a friend still in the area who linked up with us to show us about town and try to haggle and get us some Thai prices, it didnt really work, but this was the first sign of real help that we had had and it was much appreciated.  We ended finding a nice place in the main town center close to everything and managed to pick it up for a cheap price, I think it must have been my cheeky smile. 


It didn't take us long to see the real Phuket, as soon as we had had a sleep we were back out and Gaz wanted to show me around the area and introduce me to some of his 'old friends'.  My first impression was 'I dont like it', there was things happening everywhere and the bargirls (+ ladyboys) will come straight up to you in a bar and put their hands up your shorts and touch your manhood, then will be very flirtatious and tell you 'Mr handsome man' and before you've sat down will be asking you to buy them a drink - all of which I dont agree with and actually felt quite uncomfortable sometimes.  Gaz on the other hands lives for this shit, and I spent a few hours during time in Phuket wishing to leave the bars and go somewhere with western people that I can actually talk to and if anything else where to happen at least I would know that my wallet is going to be safe for the night.  After a couple of days in Phuket, I started to come round a little bit and after spending time with some of the 'working girls' that were helping us out during the day time I was really happy, they cooked a traditional Thai meal for us, made sure we were okay and generally helped us out - again something I was massively appreciative over - and not once did they try and have sex with me, well, okay one of them tried once but as a true English gentleman declined and said sorry no sex before marriage.


I think it was day 3 of Phuket that we met a lad from Leeds called Mark in one of the bars as we tried to stay dry from the torrential downpour, obviously him being from Leeds we had a lot to talk about and also got along with Gaz handsomely aswell.  We found out Mark was travelling by himself and had no major plans other than to see his pal in Pattaya close to the end of his travels so we told him he was more than welcome to link up with us whilst we are in Phuket but unfortunately we had found out you need a permit to teach diving on Patong Beach these days so our month long stay was to be cut short as it was eating into our very limited budgets quite quick.  mark stuck with us for a couple of days and showed him the main stretch of Phuket and we all had a class time.  It was only a couple of days later that we said our goodbyes and left for Koh Tao this time, again another excruciating journey and around another 14-16hour journey.


Although, this time when we arrived on Koh Tao from the night ferry which arrives roughly 5am, it was different.  The feeling when you get here is so strange, maybe it was different for me because I was expecting to call this place home very soon, but it felt that as soon as I sat down and had a drink that the world around me had almost come together above the island, tied a knot and created a bubble, which I still feel even now, around 2 or 3 weeks later.  The island is smaller than the town I grew up in, and that aint a very big town.  I kind of like the fact that its so small but also it can be quite claustrophobic in knowing that wherever you go, you will bump into someone you already know.  


My time on Koh Tao has been simply amazing, as I was growing up I always loved the movie 'The Beach' and wanted to live that type of life in a community and just chill on the beach with no  major worries and spend time with people who share the same views as me, and for someone with my views and thoughts, this place is absolute paradise.  I cannot praise this island and the people enough.  I have memories, stories and experiences in 3 weeks that some people will never have the opportunity to see in their life - and that I am grateful for.  Roughly two weeks ago, me and Gaz were eating down at Oo's bar - a place we have made our own and meeting the owner and now use his place as a chill out spot for a bite to eat - and completely out of the blue we saw Mark from Phuket bombing up and down the street on a big 250cc dirt bike, we eventually tracked him down and since that point he had been with us ever since, he is a good lad and we all get along.  I think me and Gaz appreciate his 'says whats on his mind' attitude and sometimes is bit much but at the same time he loves life and life loves him which I for one absolutely love.  A couple of days after linking up with him again we began to team-teach Mark for his Open Water course and we (me and Gaz) were both amazed at how quick he picked it up, both practical and theory applications, but with two instructors teaching one student its to be expected?

The view from our tactical vantage point

In between Marks' course, the three of us nipped over to another island called Koh Phangan which is host to probably the regions biggest party of the year - the Full Moon Party - its a party that people travel from all over the world just to see, party and experience tens of thousands of people on one beach and it is an experience I would recommend to anyone (without kids).  We managed to hook up with a German guy called Karl at the hotel we were staying at, another guy called Danny from Harrogate and a nice young girl called Penny from Kiwi land, we had formed a posse and gone to the party together.  We had a battle to plan to meet up at the bar at the end of the beach on the hour every hour to make sure we were all in tact and still alive (that plan failed after about 2 hours), the cheap drinks and buzzing atmosphere and vibe just let everyone's inhibitions disappear almost instantaneously and the party was well under way at an early hour.  We started as a group of  6 and by the end of the night ended up finding our way back to the hotel in 6 different ways.  I was adamant that my night had finished as early as 2am, although since that night have seen a picture of myself laid on the beach passed out around 5am. No idea what happened, but always the sign of a good night.  Gaz had made his way back by around 10am the next morning with stories of a Scottish girl and a couple of thousand baht in his pocket, result! Mark had an experience with some trippy mushrooms


When we got back to Koh Tao we had just a couple of days to dive and relax before the Thai new year was amongst us.  Songkram.  Songkram is a day which is literally impossible to stay dry, the Thai's celebrate their New Year by having the worlds biggest water fight, not just on Koh Tao but in every city, every town in the country.  The party here was a 24 hour party, other places like BKK are still going now, after 5 days! It's the craziest thing I have ever seen but also one of the most delightful.  Everybody is involved, old, young, disabled, pedestrians, workers, everybody, and they are all so happy - which is contagious and you cannot go through Songkram without getting involved and feeling like a local for the day.


Pretty much since Songkram, I have been bed bound with a sickness.  To me, it just feels like a common Man Flu (its a killer) but I have been told by about 10 different people that it could be Dengue fever http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dengue_fever- something I had never heard of before - so I have been warned to stay in bed and ride it out rather than go to the hospital and get charged thousands for doing the same thing.  So right now I am sitting on my balcony listening to the bars reggae and chillout tunes looking over the bay of Chaalok Baan Kao and realising that I could potentially spend the rest of my life here, if the island lets me.  


I have being missing people alot recently from back home, not just because I want to see them it just because this place is paradise and I think everyone should have a chance setting up life here.  It is perfect.


JC

One Night In Bangkok

Sawadee Cap!

It is my second night here in Bangkok and wow, what a day it has been.  It started by being awoken by a couple of Thai girls who we had met yesterday, much to our surprise and to be honest, pissed us both off a little as we had managed to end the night on Koh San Road at around 4am.  After around 24-30 hours of no to very little sleep of traveling then heavy drinking, the last thing we wanted this morning - feeling slight delicate - was to be woken up after just 5 hours pf kip.

So that was it, we were awake again and the day was to start, so we mooched downstairs walked a few paces until the next 'bar' and had some breakfast.  I didn't quite fancy the Thai 'streetfood' consisting of all the spices in the world at 10.30am.  So I opted for the very traditional scrambled egg and sausages. Sweet.  Anyways, as much I would have liked to spend the whole day feeling sorry for my self and sleeping, we headed out to a place called Pangthip Plaza AKA 'IT City'.  Whatever you need electrical wise is there, and dirt cheap, and if they don't have it in stock - it does not exist.  Its a cool place and managed to drink around 3 litres of water to make my self feel a little better. 

When we reached our hotel again, Gaz was insistent that we go for a Thai massage but unfortunately had to refuse this time as I had an appointment that was very important, with my bed.  I knew that we would be 'getting on it' again, its so hard not to do that when you are living in and around this place. It's mental.  So after waking up around 9.30 pm after finally having a couple of hours asleep, here we are now.  I am currently on a street just off Koh San Road, and its literally amazing how one road can be so 'party focused' then you walk 100m to the next street and its the most chilled out vibe you have ever seen.

As I have mentioned before I am loving it here, and cannot wait to get down to Phuket in the next couple of days and then down to The Islands. I do however have this feeling in the back of my mind that I have become somewhat of a prude, and things that I would normally embrace and laugh at are making me almost quince.  I am putting down to living in a very strict muslim country where these things you see here are a complete no-go.  That or my recent relationship with 'you know who' has deterred me away from these things.  However, this is something which is very small in the back of my mind and not so bothered about it and will be doing what I can to make sure I go back to my normal cheeky chappy Jimmy C personality rather then a cat woman who stinks off piss.

So thats it, sorry its not so long, but at least I am sober today as writing this blog.  Which is an improvement.

JC

Floppy Nipples

So..... I am finally in Bangkok.

After weeks and weeks of wondering what my new life and adventures would be like when I was in Thailand.  I guess today, is my first insight to that.  Obviously, Bangkok is just a stop gap until myself and Gaz reach 'The Islands', and my 'long term' future is going to be unlike what I am and will be experiencing in the next couple of days.

We arrived in Thailand today around 12.30pm, where we met a nice young girl ( a student from England somewhere - down south I think), who just so happened to be going to the same place we were going.  The infamous Koh San Road.  We talked and decided to join forces and split costs for a taxi, in the end it was around 3 pounds each for a 40 minute drive.  As soon as I landed in this country and saw life outside of the airport, I loved it.  everything you have seen on the TV about South East Asia is true, and it's amazing.. It really is.  I must warn you now before you start to suspect my writings are less descriptive and a little bit more wary, that's because right now, I am heavily influenced by alcohol -and only alcohol before my mother starts to panic.

It has been a crazy journey soar, after around 12 hours of travelling we found our haven, a nice little B and B on Koh San Road, in which Gaz had told me he had managed to sort out for around 350dhs per night person, BARGAIN, that's around 7 quid a night each.  After reaching the room, on the 4th floor without elevator may I add, I realized why it was the price it was.  Shithole would be a compliment.  My room literally consists of a bed, that's it, oh sorry there is a fan on the roof which does a great job of swishing the hot air around and giving you the microwave effect. I can deal with that, its not perfect but at the end of the day it is somewhere to lay your head at the end of the night, and in all honesty, we are only here for a couple of days then we are to head down to Phuket.

After completing of a couple of standard chores around the place; getting to know the area, sorting some money and bank things out we headed back to base where we were to meet a couple of Gaz's 'lady friends' who he had met from previous excursions in Thailand.  When I say they were 'ladies', I mean it, they are not the lady boys I have been hearing so much about.  We had a beer or two for Gaz and his friend to catch up in one of the local pool bars, it was cool, but by this time the two of us - or definately me - were starting to flake from the travelling and stupid sleeping hours.  We headed back to our new accommodation, where I presumed the girls were going back home... apparently not.  Anyways, without spreading the gory details of what I have seen tonight, lets just say, if the rest of my trip will be like the first 24 hours in Thailand.. God help me.

After trying to get some sleep - which is impossible when you might as well be on a bed in an oven turned to gas mark 10 - we decided to hit the town and get some more brewskies down us.  Which I guess leads us to where we are now.  It has been such a great experience so far, not only seeing a new way of life, new cultures and the rest of it, but meeting new people who seem to be so down to earth and here for the same reasons that we are, to have a good time.  It is evident that Thailand is the hub of all cultures and the only way I could describe what you see in the streets would be to call it a 'mashup'.  It is amazing, it really is and I cannot wait to see what tomorrow has to offer, and in the same breath, the rest of this evening.

JC

Today's The Day

So today is the day.


All of the feelings, worries, sadness, happiness I have felt over the past few weeks and months comes to today, and in the end means nothing right now.  I am glad I have gone through what I have had to endure recently,  I feel stronger in myself, and stronger as a person to know a little more about love and life for my next 'real' relationship.  These things are sent to test us, and just as Kelly Clarkson says - what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.  Have a ganders at the video. G'wan Clarkson!

This feeling seems to happen to me all time when I make a big decision or I am about to start a new part of my life, I know about what will happen, what to expect and feel like I am ready.  Then the day of departure comes and you realise the exact scale of things.  This morning, my Mom and I said our goodbyes and up until that point I was thinking to myself, oh its okay I will see you very soon its not the end of the world.  Then she told me, well actually James don't say that, I don't know when I will next see you.  She then left and I began to read her blog (http://mandysmidlifemayhem.blogspot.com/) which is when it hit me and realised that I won't be an hour and a half down the road anymore.  This is not the first time I have had this feeling, but it just shows that you still surprise yourself, and it's not like this feeling is going to kill me but I love my family and will be sad to say goodbye again until the next time, but more than anything, I am excited for whats about to happen in my life!!


With Gaz, just finishing off with a student of his and certifying all of the courses he has completed, its time for us both to tie up loose ends, and get ready for the big change.  For me, its easy, I had an unsuccessful bout with the Dubai Police which is something I said I would do for someone before I left, but unfortunately was unsuccessful.  I had a couple of visa challenges late on, a few different communications with all things scuba including a change of region with PADI and then the final almighty task of packing.  Wow.  

With 250 people aboard, the last thing I need
is a suitcase the size of 5 small Thai men.

If you have ever emigrated, or moved house then you will understand the difficult challenge and thought behind what and how to pack your case.  I recently went out to by a more 'travel-friendly' bag, and ended up with what looks like a huge Nike gym bag.  I'm pretty happy with it and saves me carting a heavy duty suitcase around the knackered streets of Bangkok and struggling fitting it in 'Tuk-Tuk's' as we move around.  The past few days have included trying to get every document that I need or potentially need whilst I am there and convert or find a substitute to a digital version, not easy, but I seem to have done it quite easily - until I arrive in Thailand and realise I have forgotten something. 


I have very little scuba equipment with me right now, and I will be looking to buy almost all of the standard kit whilst I am there, however the things I do have are big.. and heavy.  Having only 30kg baggage allowance is not much when you consider a complete life swap is happening. So after deciding that I need all of my shorts and t-shirts and saying goodbye to hoodies, jeans and my beloved leather jacket, I finally finished packing. I find it quite funny that although I complain about not having much weight allowance to relocate everything I own, I think its a case of 'having eyes bigger than your belly'.  My whole life and all of my possessions fit into my bag with space left, and weighs roughly 20kg.  Quite sad really.  


One thing that I am grateful for and very happy with is the fact that I have managed to get hold of a camera for my travels.  It just so happened to be, that Paul, my step-dad, had decided to go out and by a new camera - after my Mom decided to go swimming with his old one.  After looking over it and seeing that it comes with a top-notch underwater camera housing (needed for underwater photography), I decided to buy it off him before I go, instead of buying electronics when I get to Bangkok.  I think the fact that it was a top deal, and the fact I didn't want to buy faulty goods in Thailand swung it for me. 


So now, I am set.  Bags packed and sorted, passports and visa sorted, documentation sorted, camera sorted.  I have that obligatory feeling that I have forgotten something important, but that is normal and I am sure that I have everything I need for the trip.  I have thought about letting people know that I am leaving today but decided against it.  I will keep in touch with any person that wants to keep in contact with me, but to save myself the conversations about 'where I'm going, how long, what I'm doing' etc. Its easier to get up and go.  In the same breathe, I thought during the past days whether to contact my ex and let her know what I am doing etc.  I decided to do it.  People might moan at me and say 'what are you doing James, why are you doing this to yourself', but I am confident that my mindset is over her, despite the fact my heart is still slightly attached, I am happiest whilst knowing that I can contact her letting her know, after all I had the time of my life with that girl.  I do not expect a reply, do not want a reply and now I am happy in myself that every loose end possible has been tied up.  


Now, its a waiting game, until 11.30pm tonight until we head for Bahrain, then a 7 hour flight to Bangkok, for James Clark's new exciting life.  Good times.


JC

Time Waster

It is currently 6.04am and my mind is just as confused as my body is right now in know what day it is, when the  last time I woke up was and when I should next go to sleep.  I know this is the 9th post that I shall be publishing, but not so sure which day it is, not so sure if I've managed to miss blogging on one day or two.


I hate being in this type of state, it gets you down.  There's nothing which is really 'bad' per se, just annoying that you seem to sleep throughout the day, waste the daylight hours and then during the hours you are awake, everyone one else is sleeping and you waste more and more hours.  in the end, the 24 hours of your day are a complete waste, time which could be used for something else, something good.  You sit there, wondering, thinking about what you can do that is productive and thoughts run through your mind like 'learn a new language', 'go for a jog' and 'go to sleep'.  All these things are much better to do and would make me feel better about myself (and probably, take my mind off other things too).  


Although you sit there and think about doing 'something productive', there are just as many reasons to back out of it, whether its because Ghost Hunters is coming on the telly in 15 minutes (and lets be honest, who can go to sleep when Derek Acorah, is coming on, the cheeky ghost-hunting scouse geezer!), or you are 'too tired' to go for a run or you you tell yourself you will sleep soon, and then realise you have only just woken up. I think the most productive thing I have done today is probably catch up on what's happening in Emmerdale, sent a couple of emails about what's happening in Thailand and fought off a couple of ex-girlfriend memories which have tried to crawl through in my moments of weakness.  It seems that everywhere I look recently, things are determined to get my thoughts back on to what I do not need to think about. That, or my mind is connecting things to those memories I have with her.  Not sure, probably the latter, but for my own self-esteem and confidence, we will go for the 'coincidence' option.  


On another subject, i have some good news! 


Flights to Bangkok are booked, confirmed and paid for. Sweet. I have being waiting for this moment for well over a month now, and it seems like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders.  Despite knowing the plans were going to come to fruition in my head, actually seeing the tickets in black and white, with names, times and destination is like an 'hallelujah' moment.  Now all of the talk about Bangkok, Phuket, the parties, Koh Tao and the other islands, thinking about the diving and everything else the place has to offer - all of this seems to finally be real and its starting to hit me that in, hmmmm less than 48 hours, I will be there.


I'm also thinking that my commitment of one blog per day, was probably a high task and awkward task to maintain.  I have struggled to find influence, topics and whatnot whilst I am jobless and duty-less in Dubai.  So when I am busy busy, laying drunk of some poor Thai girls bathroom floor or I am underwater swimming with the worlds largest fish, the whale shark, I think the blog might start to slip down my priorities, and although the blog has undoubtedly become something I did not expect - I find my self actively checking the comments and seeing how many 'new hits' I have had that day - in the end, this thing is for myself and I need to continue for myself really.  


That exact statement above 'I need to continue for myself really', makes me laugh and cringe but I also know that its true.  As much as I am loving and enjoying writing the blogs, listening to people's feedback - I have not once read one the posts I have published.  I write it, post it and then wait until the next day and do the same.  I tried 2 or 3 days ago to read my first couple of posts, and I felt the feelings of past times start to come back, I felt embarrassment and thought I write like a 5 year old.  So for now, I have decided its best not to read them.  I realised that when I started to feel the old feelings come back from how I was feeling last week that the pain, anger and love is still inside me, its like I have dug a hole, put all of my feelings in a wooden box and then buried it in the hole and whenever I get close that box, the feelings start to freshen up.  It may take some years for that box to disintegrate in to the ground and just become 'a part of me'.  

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11672/7605478/Muamba-critically-ill-

Right now - for the second time in this blog - it is 7.02am, almost one hour of writing and watching 'How It Is Made', where I found out how they make the traditional English red post-box.  Fascinating.  It is early, and people in the household are now beginning to wake up and get themselves ready for work, I will find my self in 4 or 5 hours looking for my bed to once again say good night at the complete wrong time.  Today, I'm not too bothered as I just need to be awake by 8pm local time to catch the footy match.  On the note of football I would to express my prayers are with Fabrice Muamba of Bolton F.C who unfortunately dropped to the floor during the Bolton vs Spurs match last night and is now in a London Heart Specialist Hospital clinically ill and is in intensive care.  Whether you are a fan of Bolton, Spurs, any other team or you are not a fan at all, these stories go above football and the results, and should bring everybody together in wishing the best for Muamba.  He is 23 and according to reports, fighting for his life! 


JC